Leaving the field

Words for a friend who is leaving the mission.

"To die will be an awfully big adventure" -Peter Pan
There sure are a lot of references to death when someone talks about a mission. And it's an easy comparison to make, as I'll talk about a couple of examples before moving on to a happier, higher note, so hang in there.
Leaving the mission feels like dying. You don't know when or if you'll ever see these people again, and try as you might to ignore it you know that even if you do, it'll never be the same. And it won't. Unlike natural death, you know when it's going to happen, almost down to the hour. Don't let that make you paranoid. As a missionary, you know that you should never waste time but that doesn't mean that you should beat yourself up for every hour that didn't go as "perfectly" as you planned and hoped it would. Don't have unrealistic expectations for these days just because they're your last. When you look back on your mission, this week will be lost amidst the many other miracle-filled ones you've witnessed because of your continued faith and obedience. You've done well. Now comes the part of "enduring THROUGH the end." Have patience with yourself.
The death-bed speech: You can choose your attitude. You can either be an "old man filled with regret" for the things you wish you'd done better and for the opportunities lost now that your time is up, OR you can take the time to be grateful for the experiences and blessings that you've had. My last week in the field was one of the most peaceful weeks of my entire life because I knew I had served honorably and I let the Spirit remind me of it from time to time.
The charade: Try and go about as normally as possible, for your companion's sake, at least. Try as you might to avoid it, sending you home will make your companion a little trunky. Don't contribute to that more than necessary. Remember that mission life will continue without you- people will be taught and baptized, contacted, and dropped. That that is as it should be.
Remember the life you've lead: Take a nostalgic moment now and again. Remember that we are only called for 18 months. Accept that your time has come, and be at peace.
Freak-outs: If you haven't had one yet, you might have one soon. I remember as I faced the first day of the month in which I would go home, I was a wreck. I followed my companion around the streets without even the heart to contact and eventually sat down to sob at the approaching reality of my departure. If you have to cry, do it, it's ok. Normal, even. "The only way to take the sorrow out of death is to take the love out of life" and oh! How dearly have you loved these people! Your sorrow at leaving is a sign that you have developed charity- true Christ-like love. And that's a wonderful thing.
The upside:
As you pass through this veil, you get a glimpse, just a small one, of the incredible impact your time as a missionary has made. In the lives of some people, you have made ALL the difference. In mortal death, we have no lasting connection with those whom we leave. But thanks to the miracles of modern technology, YOU never have to loose the people you have come to love. I was a big Facebook user before the mission, posting pictures and "clever" statuses, but since I've returned I've used it to connect with dozens of beloved members and recent converts, even some investigators! I've had video calls and Manuela has called me every week since I left. These people are a part of your life now. No goodbye's only, "Hasta ver's."
Interview with President: It's really special. I won't give too much away but if a part in the middle of his monologue sounds familiar... that's because he borrowed it from my "Lo que el Senor me ha ensenado." See that? I'm haunting you from beyond the grave. ;) Also, it may comfort you to know that you don't actually have to turn in your emergency money. They just tell you that you do so that you aren't reckless throughout your mission. So if it's gone but you still have enough to live on for the next few days... you're fine!
There is proof of a GLORIOUS resurrection. You are going to die. You will fly home and see your family. It isn't going to be perfect, so don't expect it to be, but it is going to be so, SO good. And then.... you're back. A stronger, smarter, happier, more focused version of you. And you go on living a wonderful life, forever changed for the better by what the mission taught you. As a returned missionary, I have felt SO much JOY in sharing my experiences, taking the opportunity to bear my testimony, and hearing of the faithfulness of my recent converts.
I remember thinking that I was somehow doomed to misery when I came home. I thought I would be abandoned by the spirit simply because it would no longer be possible to completely live a missionary lifestyle. I realize now just how silly that was. I remember the answer to a fervent prayer, "How will I keep up on spiritual learning?" and hearing in my head, "duh, Institute." Missionary lessons? Visiting Teaching! Do the simple things.

My mom got me a book called "Taking off the tag" helping missionaries adjust to normal life. It's helped me a lot. The gist of it is, don't forget. Don't forget the self-mastery you've learned or where your real priorities lie. Don't forget to serve and seek out the spirit. Don't forget to be HAPPY.
I'm telling you that it's all going to be ok. That I'm so, SO very proud of you, how you've grown, and all you've accomplished. My pride pales in comparison to that of your Heavenly Father, whose work you've done so diligently.
Well done, thou good, and faithful servant.
Hope to see you soon!
If this is your last time reading/writing emails... Hurrah for Israel!
Hasta pronto, Hermana.
-Alayna Een

Advice for Jessica Jones and other [soon-to-be] "El Faro" Hermanas

Advice for Jessica Jones (she’s a super-hero!) [Alayna thinks all people with names that have alliteration are super-heroes.] (and other “El Faro”[The Lighthouse] Hermanas . . . and other useful, general tips)
First of all, congratulations on being called to the best mission in the world!  (I’m sure other missions are great, too, but . . . they don’t have the “El Faro” culture of obedience to prove it).
Pre-MTC advice/packing
I remember packing for my mission [she didn’t have anything in any suitcases until the morning she was flying away—and we had to leave about 1 PM—just sayin’].  I remember looking at that list in my call packet and thinking that I’ve seen more complete/useful girls-camp packing lists . . . and this is 18 months in a foreign land, not a week in the mountains.  So it’s a bit stressful.  I remember my first week in the MTC (CCM) wishing I could go home for a day, re-pack, and go back. #truestory.  But since that’s not possible/feasible/economic/even desirable if you really think about it, here’s some tips to prevent that post-packing regret.

This was literally HOURS before we left for the airport.

1)  Get good suitcases.
Those hard-cased 4 wheeled suitcases are cute and all, but beware.  Those flimsy wheels will wear out before the end of your first transfer in the field, and lugging around broken heavy luggage is an unnecessary added stress. If you pay the big bucks and get the Samsonite you should be good, or if the wheels are two per corner (added insurance). The two-wheeled tilt and drag are almost always preferable. (But if ALL of them are tilt and drag, it makes it hard to take them all yourself.) Remember:  Better ugly and functional than cute and cumbersome.  (But you can usually find an Elder to take them for you.)
2)  Don’t leave your jeans in the dryer  . . . and other clothing tips.
Fun personal story.  But yes, don’t forget to bring a pair of jeans.  No matter what you bring to wear, you’ll be sick of your clothes by the end of the MTC.  #sadtruth.  DownEast Basic T’s are GOLD.  Seriously, I can’t stress that enough.  Cardigans to dress-up/switch-up your outfits and are also a necessity (don’t worry about blazers unless you really like that type of thing).  As an added bonus, cardigans help hide arm-fat which is nice.  #sadtruth  Which brings us to another key point, “you’re going to gain weight.”  There really is nothing you can do to avoid it other than fast a lot (which is kind-of not the point), and I’ve decided that it’s a heavenly trial sent to Hermanas to strip us of pride and actually has nothing to do with the large amount of chocolate you end up eating.  So bring skirts with elastic waistbands or “room to grow”. Those “perfect missionary skirts” in the Sister Missionary Mall (Provo) are actually really good . . . but wind is the Achilles Heel. Bring skirts you feel comfortable in. Pockets are a BIG plus. Some areas are windy so having a couple pencil skirts is a good plan.
3)  Balance packing and buying.
The Spain Barcelona mission covers a lot of area.  You could pack for winter, summer, and everything in between. The good news is that Spain is not a 3rd world country.  You can buy what you need usually, but bring the basics—a good coat, fleece-lined leggings, light-weight skirts, etc.  Primark—decent quality for cheap;  H&M—usually pretty good; Chinos—for everything in-between; Stradovarius—my favorite cheapish, cute, mission appropriate.
4)  Things to bring.
-A mini-English Preach My Gospel—They’ll give you a big Spanish one in the CCM.
-Good shoes:  just a good general rule, though there are other schools of thought. (As a bonus you get ugly shoe tans!) You are going to need tennis shoes. Bring them. Depending on the climate/season, you are going to need boots, but you can buy them there (I went with water-resistant instead of straight-up rain boots because they look more professional and have a wider range of use). Other than that, I would recommend a pair or two of proselyting shoes (I got mine at the Missionary Mall, Clarks are a great choice as well. They have great support, are made to last, and can be cute!). I didn't have a specific pair of Sunday shoes, I just kept my proselyting ones in good condition and they worked for both. Flats can be bought pretty cheaply as you need them, so I wouldn't worry about bringing them. If you need them, you can buy them there.
- any iPad accessories. We're an iPad mission now, and it will be your primary computer for Preparation Day emailing. If you hate typing on a screen, maybe think about investing in a bluetooth keyboard. But don't get too carried away.
-A good water bottle:   . . .they might give you one in the CCM, but you can’t bet on it, so it’s still a good idea.  Stay hydrated.
-Your favorite sweatshirt:  warmth and comfort from home (I wish I’d brought mine).  And slippers & fuzzy socks/piso [apartment] shoes.
-Music—Fill a USB with appropriate music . . . that you actually like. Paul Cardell and Jenny Oaks Baker or selected Piano Guys songs are great for studying, EFY is fine if you like that kind of thing, people love the National Tribute Band, MOTABs is where it's at. Most songs from these artists are mission approved.
-Blank cards for thank-yous and such/stationary. I was never successful in finding any and it's nice to leave a cute note after an intercambio or for someone you work with.
5)  Things not to bring:
-A million meds:  There’s a pharmacy on—no joke- every corner.  You can get what you need, even if the brand isn’t familiar.  Just bring the meds you need/use most frequently or for conditions that occur regularly (ie., I get congested, I brought stuff for that.)
-Too many clothes/shoes—you will buy more and they don’t do any good cluttering the bottom of your suitcase. (Especially ones you don’t really like.)
-Too many little things—most of these (paperclips, post-its, etc.) you can get at a chino (like a dollar store with everything).

The most important thing to bring is a willing heart, open mind, and a good attitude.  You will LOVE your mission, even though there will be hard times.  Advice?  Jacob 6:12 O be wise; what can I say more?  You’ve got this.  WELCOME TO EL FARO!  See you in the field!

--Hermana Een